Common Sensual: An Ebony Co-sign

As a male writer in New York City, I’ve come across no shortage of women scribes who aspire to be the Carrie Bradshaw of urban media. The seductive lifestyle of record release parties, open-bar velvet rope events and celebrity sightings has drawn plenty of talented ladies into “The Industry.” Before marrying six years ago, I even fell in love with a few. My fellow Aidans and Mr. Bigs never seem to share our own stories of love, sex and city life; instead, our voices are typically relegated to the locker-room topics of politics, music and sports. “Common Sensual” breaks that silence.

I hadn’t gone around pitching a relationships column to anybody. The September issue of Essence published “Fighting Temptation,” an On His Mind essay of mine about the first real temptation of infidelity in my marriage. (That’s an exaggeration, but yeah, something like that.) In the same issue, legendary Honey magazine co-founder Kierna Mayo interviewed Tracee Ellis Ross for the cover, so she read my piece. Kierna reached out in December as editorial director of Ebony.com, adding me to her contributing writer lineup. “Common Sensual” was born out of our brainstorming.

Ebony, if you don’t know, completely transformed in 2010 from your grandma’s magazine by the peppermints on the coffee table to, like, the 40something version of heyday-era Vibe. (New Ebony writers have included dream hampton, Touré and Kevin Powell.) Thank hyper-talented editor-in-chief Amy DuBois Barnett of Honey and Teen People for the transformation; she’s certain to have an award this year for her complete overhaul. Now Ebony.com makes the reboot complete. (Ebony’s Tumblr of archive photos totally kills too.)

So enjoy my Sex and the City. Please, read “Common Sensual” and comment.

“The Space Between Two Lovers” is all about Zoë, a former urban media editor love of mine, and the need for space in healthy relationships.

“Beyond the Sheets” talks about Bangladesh (my ex, not the country), and separating love from lust.

Next week’s edition (spoiler alert!) is all about Epiphany, and how it’s hard to stay interested in a partner who has no ambition. Check the Facebook page for weekly alerts!